yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
