it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We were destined to go to rehab together
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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