She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
