Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I believe in your delicious
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
