great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
