How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
