I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize