she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
