I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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