In the future we'll all be gay
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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