He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
