I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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