Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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