Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
