Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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