...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize