Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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