Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
