I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Oh god it's open bar.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
