office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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