Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
