She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
