Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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