You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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