whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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