3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
thus making me awesome and them whores
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I lost the right to judge tonight
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
