Three words: puerto rican gang bang
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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