Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
