Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
