So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
