Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
