The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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