Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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