I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
where are you?
Hypothermia
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
