Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
