He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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