I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
