You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
