Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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