We're facebook friends in real life
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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