You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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