I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
