Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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