I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
