I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
