i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
