Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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