No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
