I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
