ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize