i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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