Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
