your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
try to milk me bitch
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