We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
