i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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