Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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