i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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