when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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