your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
