just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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