dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
