This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
