Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i think my cat just said my name.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
