New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he shaved USA in his pubs
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
