First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize