I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
