Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
