I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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