I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
