We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
