Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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